When a couple brings a child to a world, or begins to raise one as their own, they automatically create specific roles for each other. The mother typically becomes the house-keeper. She is extremely maternal and is the head of discipline of the house. On the other hand, the father, should be out working and his usual chore is taking out the trash. These are stereotypes that are sadly true, in most cases. But how should parents actually split up their roles in a household? Well it is simple. Both parents should assume equal responsibility in raising a child and the government should enforce that.
“Equal Sharing of Child Raising: The benefits and Challenges states that “Equally shared parenting offers a way for both parents to forge equivalent and deep bonds with their children.” If both parents are putting an effort to care/provide for their children, then their bond with their children will be stronger. Bonds that are the same strength. This is more of a benefit for the parents. Yes, the child may have preferences of their own, but if they show their child/children how much they actually care for them, then the relationship the parents have individually with their child is strong. Getting to know more people and learning how to interact with the worst is also fundamental to a child. March and Amy Vachon also stated that “Equal child raising also means that your children will be exposed at length to basic social differences between two parents, such as different ways of playing or preparing dinner or running an errand.” Everyone is human and everyone’s definition of perfection is different. Like everyones definition of imperfection is different. Ideally, parents want whats best for their children. If a child spends too much time with his/her mother, then he/she will not be able to understand what the father thinks is perfect of imperfect. Learning different flaws and learning perfect things should look like isn’t the same in everyone's eyes. A child will learn from outside source (friends, family teachers and/ or strangers) what these things are. But the foundation are the parents. Raising a child with an equivalent amount of responsibility, love and respect is really hard to do. The state of Pennsylvania plays a role on who should get custody. The mothers primarily get custody of the child, unless there is shared custody or the father has custody of the child/children. As a mother it is really hard to just raise a child and let go of your child so equal roles could be played. The author states that “Equally shared parenting absolutely requires a mother to let go of needing to be everything to her child, and to release control of her child’s life to the partnership of two parents instead. She must not only abdicate her dictatorship, but she must stop evaluating her peer husband on his parenting skills as if she were the teacher and he the student.” |
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It may seem like a hard task since the birth giver (mother) is usually extremely attached to their child. But it is necessary. And if in the case of putting your spouse under “evaluation”, it is best to not do so. The husband has every right to raise the child. The government should implement new rules to have more shared custody between the parents. A lot of parents, are upset with one another. Grudges are held and nothing can break that. One of the parents will want the child completely to them, and restrict the child from seeing the other parent. .
That is why the state should take more action in situations. There should be shared custody and when the child is old enough to understand what he/she wants or whom he /she feels the most comfortable with, then he can stay with that parent and both of the parents should appear to court again. Knowing how to care for the child and take care of the child will strengthen the bond between child and father. And if the case is that the father is taking care of the child primarily and then he wants to put the mother under an “evaluation” as well, the same rules apply. Each parents need an equal amount of time with their child because as a parent, you would give it all for your child. But something that has to be kept in mind is the well being of the child Trying to be a good or better parent in splitting down the responsibilities right through the middle is difficult. The Washington Post stated that “By the time parents realize what they’re up against, they don’t have time to mobilize for political or economic reform on the family front. They’re too busy dashing between the afternoon meeting and ballet class and bickering about who isn’t multitasking enough.” Splitting down responsibilities is difficult since each parent has something going on in their life. When they are not home, they are other running errands or just having a long day at work. But this is not impossible. Although parents may think it can get stressful at times, they love the fact that they are parents and that they can overcome some barriers in life. If a child begins to develop at a really early age, then the roles of the parents should be split up since the beginning. A greater satisfaction will come to a parent/the parents of the child(ren) they are raising. It is not impossible simply worth the try. |